Blue eyed monster
by crazednthu
Summary: Hermione and Ron's first time as VERY OC muggles. This is just a good laugh all around. It's funny and quite real.


Oh, this story was a blast. Hermione and Ron are so…funny and **way** out of character...but not really if you look at this in a certain light, lol

Disclaimer: Harry Potter doesn't belong to me. I don't want him anyway…

Gods, Hermione wanted a smoke bad. She was currently in her room, sitting on her bed, and drinking a flask of daiquiri. She "borrowed" it from her parents liquor cabinet. They weren't heavy drinkers so she had to make do. Hermione sighed deeply. It was a Friday night and her parents were out. She expected them home soon so she couldn't take a drive. She lost her driving privileges for a week because she missed curfew again. It had to have been the most boring day ever. She read all the stupid books in her house, and nothing was on TV. All her friends abandoned her and were having a good time at the movies or partying.

She should have been hanging out with her boyfriend of 6 months, Ron Weasley, but the two of them once again in a stupid fight over nothing. Hermione took another sip of the weak drink and heard a tapping at her window. She put the flask down on her night stand. Then, she heard it again. Hermione jumped out of her bed and glanced at herself in the mirror.

She had on baggy blue p.j pants, and an over-sized white t-shirt. Her hair was down and messy. Hermione whined about her appearance for a whole second before opening her window curtain and revealed Ron sitting on a branch tapping the glass.

Hermione rolled her eyes. Since they were little, Ron always came through her window. At age 12 he decided he didn't believe in doors all together. Besides, it was an easy climb to the second story, and Ron liked to feel like Tarzan. She smiled but remembered they were in a fight. "What do you want?" she asked.

Ron rolled his crystal blue eyes. "What the bloody hell do you think? Now let me in. I'm freezing my bollocks off!"

Hermione frowned at him. She told him to stop huffing spray paint. They did it together once and spent the next two days seeing angels."It's July," she said simply.

Ron glared at her. "Well I'm sweating my bollocks off. Just tossing let me in damn it!"

She stomped her foot at his rudeness but opened the window anyway. He jumped through and stretched his longs legs.

Hermione punched his arm. "Don't raise your voice at me. Unless you want me to do something damaging to your balls," she warned. Ron waved a hand at her. Hermione sat down on her bed and watched him.

Ron took off his basketball shoes and ran a hand through his somewhat long red hair. He was very tall and lean. His skin was ghost white and freckly and lips red and full. Ron had changed so much since they made it to upper level grades. He used to be so shy and stuck to the rules. Now, at 16 he couldn't keep out of detention, and he had to charm his parents all the time into not sending him to military school. Her parents tolerated him. Hermione even thought her mother fancied Ron and found him attractive. She stared and flirted with him all the time. Ron thought it was funny, but Hermione hated it. Her father, however, was always looking for an excuse not to like him, or shoot him. He thought Ron had corrupted her since they started dating.

Hermione had never been perfect. She always kind of had an act for trouble, but now it was more like a full time job. She wasn't a menace. She just enjoyed partying and sneaking out once in a while. She chuckled looking at Ron in his baggy black shorts and tight blue Beatles shirt. "You know if you weren't such a sexy asshole I'd break up with you," she said glaring.

Ron frowned at her. "Yeah, well if you weren't such a gorgeous bitch I'd dump you and find someone who wasn't on my case every second" he spat back.

"Oh, so now I'm a bitch?" she asked getting up.

"Yeah your are. Here I am coming over to apologize and you call me an asshole. God, you always blame me for shit, but it's you who stars it!" he yelled.

Hermione got closer. "Well, I wouldn't have to blame you for shit if you didn't act like such a fucking child!" she shouted back.

Ron grabbed her arm. "Well, maybe you should quit acting like my damn mother," he screamed.

Hermione jumped but stood her ground. She yanked her arm free and slapped his face. "Well, maybe you should stop yelling at me and grabbing me before I throw you out!," she shouted feeling tears burn her eyes.

Ron's expression immediately changed. He bit his bottom lip and pulled her into a hug. Hermione embraced him wrapping he arms around his shoulders. She breathed in his scent of Old Spice and grass. He wrapped his arms around her waist. "Oh my God. Love, you're right. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry for scaring you. You're not a bitch, but I'm definitely an asshole," he breathed kissing the top of her head.

Hermione smiled, "No. I can be a bitch sometimes. I'm sorry too," she said pulling away. Ron rubbed her cheek.

"So…how does an asshole and a bitch make up?" he asked grinning sexually. Hermione licked her lips. No matter what, she couldn't stay mad at him for very long. She took her hands and placed them on either side of his waist turned him around and backed him up till his legs hit the bed. Ron sat down and scooted up so he was in the center. Hermione crawled on the bed smirking and loving the way he watched her with his lip bit.

She sat on his lap and slowly ran her fingers through his soft hair. It fell gracefully into his face. Her hands traveled downward to his chest and stomach, and stopped at the hem of his shirt. Hermione tugged at it, and Ron raised his arms allowing her to take it off. She threw it to the floor and smiled at his body.

Just looking at him made her wet. He was so pale and splashed with freckles. His chest was defined, and his stomach was small but toned. Sports were a godsend. He blushed a bit. The tip of his ears red. Hermione leaned down and kissed his neck. Ron's attitude may have been rough, but his skin wasn't. In fact, it was cotton soft. "Assholes and bitches make up like this," she whispered in his ear.

Ron pulled her hair bringing their lips together. They gave each other fast, soft kisses. Hermione tangled her fingers in Ron's hair, as his went down her back. She licked his soft lips rubbing her tongue across, and tasting him. Ron captured her tongue and crushed it into his mouth. She whimpered, and as he sucked her tongue. His hands went underneath her shirt. Ron's hands were so cold against her burning skin. Hermione didn't have a bra on, and she felt his fingers rub her nipples.

She gasped and ran her nails over his chest tugging on his nipples making him whimper. He squeezed her breast hard in retaliation. Her hands lowered to his shorts, and his went to her butt. He squeezed that also. Hermione jumped grabbing him through his pants. Ron broke out of the kiss and groaned. She rubbed her hand up and down feeling his hard member. He attacked her bottom lip ,and bit down on it. Ron's hands went under her pants and underwear. His long fingers caressed her cheeks, and she jerked gasping and rubbing harder on Ron making him moan loudly.

Out of no where he pulled Hermione's hand away, and crushed their bodies together. This time Hermione broke from the kiss and moaned loudly. She pulled him into a hug and rocked herself back and forth against him. She groaned as Ron's hands were still on her butt "Oh oh m-my p-parents will be here s-soon," Hermione whimpered.

"Then we'll make this quick," he moaned laying her down back on her pillows.

Ron unfastened his pants and pulled them off as Hermione tore off her shirt, and opened her legs. Ron licked his lips "You're so beautiful," he whispered and attacked her neck. She moaned pulling and kicking off her pants. Hermione pushed down on Ron's butt and gasped. He was so hard, and she was so wet and wired. Ron pushed into her sucking her neck and moaning. This was as far as they ever gotten. "R-Ron," she moaned.

"Ump?" he asked against her neck.

Hermione licked her lips. "Do…do you have a oh! Hrm! A condom?" she choked.

Ron stopped all his movements and looked up at her his face was flushed. "Um...yeah," He told slowly biting his bottom lip. Hermione really looked at him. It was at times like this that she admired him. He's blue eyes were so peaceful. The freckles on the bridge of his nose gave him the look of a 6 year old, and she loved it.

"Use it," she whispered.

Ron blinked taking his lip out off his mouth. "Are..are you sure?" he asked quietly.

Hermione sighed and nodded. "Yes, but hurry up my parents will be here soon," she joked. Ron chuckled and went to the floor for his shorts. Hermione took off her panties and quickly got under her covers. Ron emerged with a green square packet. He blushed climbing back on the bed. He got under the covers and took his boxers off.

Hermione moaned as Ron's fingers grazed her middle as he tried to put the condom on. She watched him. Ron looked up toward the ceiling with a frowning expression. He seemed in deep concentration. "You need any help?" she asked awkwardly. Ron shut his eyes while turning the color of an apple and shaking his head. "You know I never imagined my first time like this," she confessed. Ron grunted a bit and smiled at her.

"I did. Ah, there we go," he breathed before lowering his mouth over hers. Hermione kissed him back and wrapped her arms around his neck. Ron rested his arms on either side of her head. The moment Ron entered her she screamed in his mouth. Something wasn't right. It wasn't supposed to hurt like this. No, it wasn't supposed to burn like this. Now, Hermione didn't have any experience with penises. She only knew what her and her friends watched late at night on TV, or downloaded on the computer, but she was sure Ron had to be amongst one of the hugest. He had to be. It hurt like shit.

"I'm so sorry baby," Ron moaned parting from her mouth, and stilling his movements. "You're just so tight, and it's difficult...I have no idea what to do to help you. I've never done this before, you know that," Ron said all at once trying to explain.

Hermione didn't open her eyes. "I know, It's alright, don't stop, I'll be fine." She breathed hoping that was true, then again anything had to be better than what she was feeling now. She felt Ron kiss her gently taking her bottom lip between his. He pumped slow and softly. It was incredibly painful. It felt like Ron was ripping her apart with a hot telephone pole. Yet, it was the most erotic feeling she had ever experienced.

Hermione cried softly gasping ever time Ron pumped inside her. He kissed her neck "Gods, you feel so beautiful. You're so gorgeous. I'm glad you're my girl. I'm sorry about the fight. I missed you so much. Ah, Hermione you're so good," he moaned softly in her ear.

His words eased the pain a bit and produced heat in her stomach. It actually began to feel good. "Oh gods Ron," she moaned. It must have triggered something because he went faster. Hermione winced. Her bed began to rock. "Ah, ah, oh, Ron. You're so good to me," she whimpered as pulse hit her groin. She felt on the edge of something. "Oh, oh, oh, fuck!" she screamed as she felt Ron jerk inside her. He gave a choked cry and bit her neck. Hermione hissed and felt herself explode it seemed. She whimpered as she climaxed hard.

Ron slowed his movements before stopping. He lazily kissed her lips "I…I love you…I love you Hermione," he breathed before collapsing on her chest. She smiled and opened her eyes finally. It was the first time he'd ever said that to her. She wondered if it was just an act.

"I love you too," she answered truthfully.

The two got dressed quickly in a comfortable silence. Hermione groaned and hissed wiping her middle with a Kleenex. The pain was still there, and she had to shower and wash her sheets, as drops of blood stained them. She couldn't help but resent Ron and all boys for that matter. It was all fine for them. No pain or bleeding.

Hermione heard a flicker. Turing her head she saw Ron at her open window smoking a cigarette. She frowned. How dare he tease her? She needed one more than he did. "Hey, give me a hit," she demeaned.

Ron grinned exhaling, "Let me have a drink," he said pointing to the flask. Hermione reached over her nightstand and grabbed it. She gave it to him in exchange for the smoke. She inhaled the bitter smoke that engulfed her lungs. All her pains were leaving now. She moaned and exhaled wishing her parents smoked or at least had big brothers who did like Ron. Ron chugged the drink but almost gagged. "Shit, what the hell is this?" he asked wrinkling his nose and sitting the flask down.

"It's daiquiri," she confessed quietly.

Ron glared at her, "Damn it Mione. You know I hate this Nancy boy shit!" he yelled.

Hermione frowned. "It's not a Nancy boy drink," she argued.

Ron rolled his eyes. "You know any drink without real hard alcohol is a fucking sodding to hell Nancy boy drink. How dare give me this!" he yelled again. Hermione bit her lip, put the cigarette in her mouth, and threw a pillow at him. She had no energy to fight him. Her sensitive guy was now the asshole jerk. She pulled the smoke out exhaling and feeling calmer.

"Oh you big saggy tit. I'm so fucking sorry to offend you," she shouted back glaring. "I'll make sure that the next time my parents go shopping I'll tell them to buy Jack Daniels just for you."

Ron took her smoke and hit a drag. When he exhaled he smiled and laughed. "You're right. I'm sorry. I'm a big...saggy tit. I love you," he said. Hermione felt all her anger leave her body. Not only was he incredibly charming, but he had once again said that he loved her. Maybe he did mean it. Ron gave her back the cigarette but not before leaning down and snogging her for a few minutes. Sex already changed how the kissed. It was more intimate. His mouth tasted excellent. It was a great mixture of the bitter nicotine and his natural sweetness.

"I love you," she said pulling away. she quickly realized that she couldn't say it enough.

"Love you more," he breathed before walking to the window. "I'd better go. I want another chance to shag you before your dad catches us and chops my dick off," he said shuddering.

Hermione chuckled taking a last hit before putting it out in the flask, and getting up slowly. "Um, you know, you should come over tomorrow. I'll make you a real drink, and we'll go for a drive in your brother's mustang," she said smiling.

Ron smiled as well. "Last time I took his car, I got a black eye," he said.

Hermione shrugged knowing Ron couldn't and wouldn't say no to trouble. "Yes, and it looked so sexy too. If you play your cards right tomorrow we can go by the lake, and you can shag me as much as you want," she blushed before walking in front of him.

Ron's eyes lit up. "Really?" he questioned. Hermione nodded. He pulled her into a hug. "I am really sorry about everything. I did miss you, and sorry if I hurt you. Physically, emotionally, mentally, and all the other ways a person can possibly hurt another."

Hermione gazed up at him. His blue eyes seemed worried, and Ron was scarcely worried. "Sweetheart, it's okay. Of course it was going to hurt, but you were incredible and made it feel better. I can take whatever you say to me anyway, so don't worry about that either. I missed you too. Lets not fight again okay, yeah?" she asked before leaning up and quickly kissing him.

"Unless make-up sex is involved," Ron added.

"Of course," she said before kissing him again. They parted. She leaned against his chest, and Ron held her swaying a bit and singing beautifully.

"_I'll make love to you _

_If you want me to _

_and I'll hold you tight _

_Baby all through the night_."

Hermione laughed "Oh that sounds good. I love you," she said.

Ron raised her chin and kissed her softly. "I love you too, so much," he whispered then walked to the window. Hermione watched him glide out of it with ease.

"Wait!" she yelled. Ron turned around. Hermione looked at him licking her lips. "You really imagined your first time like this?" she asked.

Ron smiled "Well, yeah. I mean…it was with you," he said simply. Hermione gawked at him. "Now, don't forget my drink or I'll bend you over and make you call me Zeus," he warned before climbing down. Hermione rolled her eyes and sat on her bed wincing a bit at the pain.

With Ron she got best of both worlds and never knew when she'd get what. He could be a real insensitive wanker at times, but also be the most caring and compassionate person she knew. Hermione was just fine with that. She love it, and wouldn't want Ron any other way.

* * *

This was so fun! I was cracking up as I wrote. It helps that i'm a bit...off tonight. Anyway...Hermione and Ron are destined, but it's nice seeing them so vicious to each other. Who knew Ron could sing too? The song was from Boyz 2 Men by the way titled "I'll make love to you" how perfect?

CRAZED


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